


Not Another Jason Movie

by Death_by_Gallavich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Humorous Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5215325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Death_by_Gallavich/pseuds/Death_by_Gallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Mickey settle in for a Friday the 13th marathon at the Gallagher house. Hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Another Jason Movie

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what a crack!fic is but I'm pretty sure this should be classified as one. Also should have been up two days ago but y'know, life and stuff.

"Oh come on, Ian, another one?"

It was 9 o'clock at night on Friday the 13th, and Ian and Mickey were about to start the seventh installment of the popular Jason Vorhees franchise.

"It's called a marathon for a reason, Mick."

"No shit Sherlock, but how many times do I have to see this douchebag kill a bunch of teenagers while they fuck, until the one in the group that doesn't have shit for brains figures out a way to temporarily kill the guy before comes back to life in the next movie and does the same stupid shit all over again?"

Ian sighed, looking at Mickey expectantly. "You done, Mr. Grumpy Gills?"

Mickey just flipped him off, getting up to get another beer. If he was going to make it through this marathon, he needed to be significantly buzzed. He shuffled into the kitchen, stifling a yawn as he opened the refrigerator to retrieve his drink. When he turned back around, he nearly shit himself.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IAN!" Mickey shrieked, his beer bottle flying out of his hand and shattering on the floor. Ian was standing in front of him, wearing Jason's signature hockey mask and a black jacket with the hood pulled up, breathing very heavily. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You're lucky I didn't knock you the fuck out!"

Ian didn't say a word, continuing to stare Mickey down.

"Whatever, fuckin' weirdo. We finishing this marathon or what?" Mickey asked, raising his eyebrows at his ridiculous boyfriend as he made his way back to the living room. Ian silently followed him, mechanically sitting down and absently gazing at the television.

Mickey stared incredulously at Ian, wondering if this was some strange nightmare induced by all those stupid movies. "You gonna keep that mask on all night? What the fuck's gotten into you?"

"Hello, earth to Ian. Still in there buddy?" Mickey teased, snapping his fingers next to Ian's face.

Still nothing.

Mickey went from annoyed to angry in about 0.2 seconds.

"IAN CLAYTON GALLAGHER WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"Mickey why are you shouting?" Ian winced, rubbing his temples. Mickey's loud voice was doing nothing to soothe the headache blooming from staring at the television for so long. "I just went to take some aspirin, geez."

Mickey whipped his head around, eyes wide at seeing Ian standing at the bottom of the stairs. Realization set in, and he slowly turned his head back towards man on the couch next to him, who was now looking right at him. 

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Mickey screamed, scrambling off the couch, knocking Ian into the wall as he sprinted up the stairs. He locked himself in the bathroom, mentally kicking himself for being the dumb white girl at the beginning of every horror movie, but quickly pushed those thoughts aside since he was not in a horror movie and there actually was some psycho trying to kill him. In that moment, he panicked, remembering he left Ian to face the intruder all by himself. "Fuck," he whispered, searching for some kind of weapon. He found a hammer in one of the cabinets, grabbed it, and slowly crept down the hallway towards the back stairs. Once at the bottom, Mickey peered around the corner, letting out a sigh of relief when he found no one there. He figured Ian had escaped and ran for help, so he set the hammer down and went to leave out of the back door. When he opened it, he was face-to-face with the hockey mask-clad stranger. Mickey took off running in the opposite direction, bypassing the hammer in favor of exiting through the front door, only to slam into another Jason look-alike. Mickey fell to the ground, quickly crawling towards the stairs, where he was met with the sight of brown work boots. He looked up to find a third perpetrator standing on the bottom step. It dawned on him that he wasn't getting out of this, and that if he was gonna go down, it would be with a fight. He did a quick assessment of the men surrounding him, deciding the one on the stairs was the least physically intimidating. With that, he sat up on his knees and punched the guy in the nuts as hard as he could.

"Ow, fucking hell Mickey!"

Confused, and still a bit terrified, Mickey yanked the guy's mask off, revealing an all too familiar face.

"Lip? What the fuck?" Mickey shouted.

The other two men began cackling, and Mickey's fear turned into rage as he recognized both laughs. Kev and Ian slid their masks off, Kev laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face, Ian shooting Mickey an apologetic look amidst his giggling.

"Are you fucking kidding me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME GALLAGHER?"

Kev and Lip took that as their cue to leave, Lip groaning as he walked from the pain still radiating from his groin. Ian reached out to squeeze Mickey’s shoulder but Mickey backed away and stood up, fists clenching at his sides.

“I’m sorry Mick, it was meant to be a harmless prank,” Ian soothed, realizing he had really upset his boyfriend.

“Yeah well _harmless_ pranks usually don’t involve making a person feel like they’re about to be brutally murdered!” Mickey hollered, pushing past Ian and storming upstairs. Ian sighed and trudged up the stairs after him. When he got to his room, Mickey was scooted all the way back to the wall, leaving plenty of room for Ian although his eyes were still shooting daggers. Ian climbed into the bed, chanced carding his fingers through Mickey’s hair, and relaxed into the motion when the gesture wasn’t refuted.

“I really am sorry Mick,” Ian whispered, removing his hand from Mickey’s hair to lace their fingers together.

“I know, Ian. But don’t you think a Milkovich is the wrong person to threaten seemingly imminent death with?”

“Yeah okay, it wasn’t one of my better ideas.”

“Ya don’t say,” Mickey teased, yelping a second later when Ian brought their intertwined hands to his mouth and bit Mickey’s. He immediately soothed it with a kiss, continuing to pepper kisses all the way up Mickey’s arm, shoulder, and neck, not stopping until he had placed a deep kiss on Mickey’s lips. And though neither boy was exactly tired, they fell asleep shortly after, eager for the eventful night to come to a close and the morning to consist of a very _different_ type of marathon.

After all, it is bad luck to have sex on Friday the 13th.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. This was a thing that happened. I dunno, it was like 3am when I started writing it. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, come find me on tumblr at [doctor-buffy-winchester](http://www.doctor-buffy-winchester.tumblr.com/)


End file.
